Departures

X.

Roxanne prepared to leave, making her choice. She knew that she had to leave the Lighthouse to find out where her loyalties lay. Did the Lighthouse contain a monopoly on the truth? Was loyalty to the Light and the Lighthouse one and the same? For Erin it was. That choice was easier in a sense- you knew where your loyalties should be unquestioningly. Could it be that easy? If not, why would her father leave the Lighthouse? Could she ever be the same, would it be possible to come back to the Lighthouse and return to life as it was? Erin looked so disappointed, as if she had destroyed the great future that she had had. Roxanne stopped packing, unsure if she was really ready to sacrifice the potential she had built up amongst the Keepers. What would she lose by leaving? Could she recover what may be lost? Would she even want to come back? No, she needed to know. Finding the Light would be worth whatever she lost, the life that she would find more worthwhile than whatever she would lose. Her father would be proud. She would finish his work, do what he could not. That was what must be.

Roxanne returned to packing, realizing that she could never return fully to normal, that all things would change, but that the greatest growth in life was generally spurred by change. She knew that she could not not go visit the League to follow her father’s path and learn what he knew, trying to bridge the Schism that for decades had been building before it burst open, tearing family and friends apart. Thaddeus thought that she was the last chance for reconciliation. The thought frightened and empowered Roxanne, giving her hope to do what she knew she had to do. There were others that believed in her, at least one.

Having finished packing, Roxanne threw her pack on her back and left the Lighthouse by the less conspicuous and less guarded entrance for the Keepers, hoping to have as few people see her as possible. She fled the Lighthouse, pausing to gaze up at its white beauty, stark against the mist and shadowy grey that existed throughout the rest of Tiesa. She thought of Erin and her heartbroken face when she had announced that she was going to leave and visit the League. It was almost as if she had died in that moment and there was no chance of her returning to life or seeing Erin again. For Erin this very well may have been true, as she vowed to refrain from interactions with anything that questioned the Lighthouse or brought up any ideas that were remotely unorthodox or differed from the practice and culture of the Lighthouse, regardless of past practices or recent changes. The Lighthouse was law and the Light and Erin was committed to following it no matter what the cost. Her devotion rivaled that of Bartholomew, whose commitment to the rule of law and order was the prime separation between him and Fairfax years before.

“Erin, I haven’t betrayed you. Know that. I have only done what I know I need to do. There is no alternative, I could not just let the League be, when they could help me better know my father and find the Light. That may not make sense to you. The Lighthouse has all the Light right? But, for me, the Light comes from other places, the Lighthouse may be the most complete gatherer of the Light, but it doesn’t have a monopoly on the Light by any means. I think the League will shed some of their own Light on how to bring true peace to Tiesa. That’s what I want. Peace for me and peace and Light for all of Tiesa. I will see you again.”

Roxanne turned, keeping her head down, torn and broken, yet determined to move forward.

“Bravo. You’ve broken free from the chains that have bound your mind, making you able to save Tiesa. You know the path- your father was the spark that started this,” The Glare made an expansive gesture indicating the destruction that The Glare had accomplished.

“Patrick, there is a better way. This destruction and hate will never heal. More destruction and division and hatred will be the fruits.”

“Ha! You still view the world as if peace means order. Look past that. True peace is chaos, when opposition reigns and all can freely choose, without choice there is no peace. The Glare will simply provide the people of Tiesa with the choice- Light or Darkness. They will ultimately decide what the fate of Tiesa is, not me, nor The Glare, and most assuredly not the Keepers holed up in their blasted Lighthouse, hoarding the Light that is meant to be shone on all equally. You have much yet to learn, but there is time. Soon enough you will see and will join me, it is only a matter of time. Enter and learn!” The Glare finished with a flourish of his arm towards the offices of the League of Light, taking a little bow before turning sharply, his coat waving and billowing with the force of the air from his turn, crafting a dramatic departure.

Roxanne struggled for words, wanting to deny that she would ever join with him, but his words had caught her off guard. His remarks about peace echoed almost exactly thoughts from her father’s journal. If that was true, then perhaps the Glare was going to bring about peace. Could it be? Would her father have supported such violence and destruction, he was always so calm and peaceful, respectful of all opinions and schools of thought. That was what had given him his power and position of respect in the community, his desire for reconciliation and bringing all sides together, not some mad dash for chaos, valuing his own opinion above all others.

“Too many questions. It’s time to find some answers.” Roxanne squared her belongings on her shoulder and went to the front door, pausing for a moment, unsure whether she should knock or just enter, when an older woman came to the door and opened it startled to find someone standing in the entryway.

“Oh by the Light! You frightened me! Who are you? And what is that you want?”

“I apologize for any fright that I gave you madam, I’m a simple seeker of Light, wanting to know more. My father walked among you for awhile and if I could learn more about him, it could bring peace that I’ve been missing.”

“Well, seekers are always welcome here, questions abound. Who was your father, perchance I knew him.”

“Fairfax, madam. I’m Roxanne.”

The woman gasped. “Ai! Aye, I knew Fairfax, he was one of the greats, a Keeper and a member of the League, hoping to bring us together again. Mighty dangerous for you to come here now. Ol’ Bartholomew might have your neck, hehe.” She chuckled as she finished, putting her arm around Roxanne and bringing her to sleeping quarters. “You can put yer stuff here, make yourself at home. Then come to the library, we can start bringing out some Light.”

*

“Erin?” A doctor entered her room, looking for her.

Erin raised her head, expectantly, “Yes?”

“You should be able to leave shortly. You’ve been improving and you can rest as well, if not better in your own room, than you can here. You can go ahead and pack up now. Come in in a few days and we’ll run a quick check-up.”

“Great. Thank you.”

“Just doing my job. Don’t do anything to strenuous now,” the doctor said as he left.

Erin stood up and began to clean up and gather her few items that she had with her for her short stay. As she gathered and looked around she noticed a bottle lying in the corner, where she usually dreamt of Patrick.

“Huh, that’s strange. I wonder if Roxanne brought it by sometime before she…left.” Erin stopped caught short with the idea of Roxanne actually being gone.

“Why’d she have to leave? She could do so much good here. She may have become the second great female Leader, better than any that have come before. She was one of the greatest, filled with curiosity, but always tempering it with her desire to obey. She knew her place and always wanted to fulfill her responsibilities to the best that she could. That let her access those that questioned, showing that you could balance your curiosity with devotion, they did not need to cancel each other out like was usually the case. Oh, Roxanne. What could I have done to help you work through this? Could I have been there for you? Could I have questioned too? What would have helped?”

Frustrated and angry with herself and worried for the future of Roxanne, Erin looked to the bottle, pulling out the letter, hoping that the words would do something to reassure her or at least redirect her anger at Patrick, for his abandonment of all that was holy, anything that he once thought to bring happiness. As she worked the letter out of the bottle, she opened it, wondering if perhaps any new insights would come with this reading. As she unrolled the slightly damp message and began to read, she dropped the bottle in shock. A loud clanging ricocheted throughout the infirmary, which brought doctors and others running.

Erin was frantically reading through the message, scanning for any sign that it was a fake or that the original message she received was false and a joke, but none was to be found. The gathered officials looked expectantly, waiting for an explanation and assurance.

“Thaddeus is gone.”